HANDBOOK

1.  Conduct yourself in a manner befitting an officer in Starfleet. You are not in the Klingon Navy, so don't act like it!

2.  Never bring Orion slave girls or male residents of Angel One aboard ship.

3.  Never bring back temperamental pets like Targs or Denebian Slime Devils.

4.  You will not leave Tribbles unattended in either the galley or the Klingon crew quarters.

5.  Whenever possible, go on shore leave in two's, three's or four's. You get the message: don't go alone.

6.  Do not try to drink a Space Marine under the table. You will lose.

7.  Do not get arrested for any reason. If the Captain or First Officer has to bail you out, you'll wish they had left you there!

8.  Do not get into any games of chance with a Space Marine, a Nausicaan, or a Vulcan. You will lose.

9.  When returning to the ship, go directly to Sickbay to have any alien entities removed from your body.

10. No matter how hard you partied the night before, do NOT be late for your shift!